out," she said, with a sniff. "Tell me if
that 'urts."

Mr. Billing told her, then, suddenly remembering himself, issued an
expurgated edition.

"I'm sorry for the next man that 'its you," said his wife, as she drew
back and regarded her handiwork.

"'Well, you needn't be," said Mr. Billing, with dignity. "It would take
more than a couple o' props in the jaw to make me alter my mind when I've
made it up. You ought to know that by this time. Hurry up and finish.
I want you to go to the corner and fetch me a pot."

"What, ain't you going out agin?" demanded his astonished wife.

Mr. Billing shook his head. "Somebody else might want to give me one,"
he said, resignedly, "and I've 'ad about all I want to-night."

His face was still painful next morning, but as he sat at breakfast in
the small kitchen he was able to refer to Mr. Ricketts in terms which
were an eloquent testimony to Mr. Purnip's teaching. Mrs. Billing,
unable to contain herself, wandered off into the front room with a
duster.

"Are you nearly ready to go?" she inquired, returning after a short
interval.

"Five minutes," said Mr. Billing, nodding. I'll just light my pipe and
then I'm off."

"'Cos there's two or three waiting outside for you," added his wife.

Mr. Billing rose. "Ho, is there?" he said, grimly, as he removed his
coat and proceeded to roll up his shirt-sleeves. "I'll learn 'em. I'll
give 'em something to wait for. I'll----"

His voice died away as he saw the triumph in his wife's face, and,
drawing down his sleeves again, he took up his coat and stood eyeing her
in genuine perplexity.

"Tell 'em I've gorn," he said, at last.

"And what about telling lies?" demanded his wife. "What would your Mr.
Purnip say to that?"

"You do as you're told," exclaimed the harassed Mr. Billing. "I'm not
going to tell 'em; it's you."

Mrs. Billing returned to the parlour, and, with Mr. Billing lurking in
the background, busied herself over a china flower-pot that stood in the
window, and turn

William Wymark Jacobs (September 8, 1863 September 1, 1943), was an English author of short stories and novels. He is now best remembered for his macabre tales The Monkeys Paw (published 1902) and The Toll House (in the collection of short stories The Lady of the Barge). However the majority of his output was humorous in tone. His favourite subjects were marine life: men who go down to the sea in ships of moderate tonnage said Punch, reviewing his first collection of stories, Many Cargoes, which achieved great popular success on its publication in 1896.

William Wymark Jacobs (September 8, 1863 September 1, 1943), was an English author of short stories and novels. He is now best remembered for his macabre tales The Monkeys Paw (published 1902) and The Toll House (in the collection of short stories The Lady of the Barge). However the majority of his output was humorous in tone. His favourite subjects were marine life: men who go down to the sea in ships of moderate tonnage said Punch, reviewing his first collection of stories, Many Cargoes, which achieved great popular success on its publication in 1896.

William Wymark Jacobs (September 8, 1863 September 1, 1943), was an English author of short stories and novels. He is now best remembered for his macabre tales The Monkeys Paw (published 1902) and The Toll House (in the collection of short stories The Lady of the Barge). However the majority of his output was humorous in tone. His favourite subjects were marine life: men who go down to the sea in ships of moderate tonnage said Punch, reviewing his first collection of stories, Many Cargoes, which achieved great popular success on its publication in 1896.